COMMITMENT
Begin by reminiscing about how you met, fell in love, and got married.
While giving each other grace because growth will take time and be messy, discuss these questions:
• What fears do you have about this whole irrevocable, unconditional covenant thing? In what ways do you think that your spouse is God's gift to you? In what way is he or she the complete package?
• While you'll be used by God in each other's lives, can you commit to your spouse that you will focus on changing and maturing yourself, not on changing or maturing him or her? Why or why not?
• Can you commit yourself to unconditional giving, instead of taking in your marriage? Why or why not?
• Can you commit that divorce will never be an option for you? Why or why not?
• What boundaries should you set to protect your covenant?
COMMUNICATION
• In what ways do you think your family background positively and negatively shapes the way you communicate within your marriage?
• What are your plans to proactively build verbal intimacy
in your marriage?
• In what ways do you need to abandon your insistence on your way of communication and move toward your spouse?
• Do you like the way you handle conflict as a couple? Why or why not?
• What "rules" do you want to set up as a couple regarding conflict resolution, arguments, etc.?
CHRIST
• How are you doing spiritually right now? What is the next step you need to take to grow closer to God?
• Does your spouse have your permission to keep God primary in his/ her life, even before you? Why or why not?
• What do each of you need to do to keep God primary in your lives?
• What can your spouse do to spur you on in your relationship with Jesus?
• As a couple, what can you do to build a spiritual life together?
• What will be your family mission or vision? How will you serve the Lord?
• Do you expect marriage to make you holy or happy? How's that working for you?
CHALLENGES
MONEY
• What do you think is ultimately in control of your financial decisions: an assumed standard of living, keeping up with the Joneses, or wisdom from God?
• Have you been approaching finances as a team or as opponents?
FAMILY
• What plans can you make to maintain the primacy of your marriage in the midst of busyness, family & kids?
• How are you doing at maintaining "team" when dealing with kids and/or family? What do you need to do to solidify your team?
DIFFERENCES
• How are you two different from each other?
• In what ways are those difference similar to or distinct from typical gender differences?
• What are a few differences about your spouse that drive you nuts but that you'll strive to embrace and laugh about instead of being frustrated by them?
SEX
• Are you satisfied with the frequency of your sex life?
• What do you need to do as a couple to enjoy this area more often?
• Is there anything about your sex life that you wish your partner knew?
• Take a moment individually to rank how your marriage is doing in these challenge areas (sex, finances, differences, and family) from 1 to 4. (One being, "I think this one is going well" and Four being, "I think this is the one we're really struggling with".) Share your thoughts and discuss any differences in perspectives.
• How would applying the skills you learned from the three pillars (commitment, communication, and Christ), impact how you each approach the four problem areas (sex,
finances, differences, and family)?
• What challenges does your particular marriage face in the four potential problem areas of: sex, finances, differences, and family? Make a plan together on how you're going to tackle those.
resources
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 
. 